I’ve been a member of SparkPeople for quite some time, never really sticking to it long enough to make a lasting difference. I recently bought the book and started the 28 day program to get a jumpstart, but I’m finding it’s really difficult to get the initial motivation to start the forward motion.

Browsing their forums today, I came across a fellow Viriginian who is proud of her husband’s decision to get healthy. She has done it herself, and reading his blog I found out that he’s gotten tired of letting his life slip by and made the decision to get healthy too. I’ve got my own reasons to get fit, and I feel inspired by this guy. I’m going to be keeping tabs on his blog.

It’s really hard for fat people to take advice from skinny people, especially skinny ones who have never been fat. It’s one thing to let Jillian Michaels tell me what to do - she’s made a career out of it. But skinny friends and family trying to help me out is like rubbing salt in a wound. If you’ve never struggled with weight, you can’t understand it. Unless you tried to quit smoking.

But listening to a fellow “big-boned” individual is better. We’re in it together. That’s why I’m looking forward to seeing Ed’s progress. Kinda like JC, who has also become an inspiration to me. He was my size when I had seen him last. By the time I got back from Paraguay, he was a bean pole.

I’m going to try to make this progress more public here. I need people to keep me accountable. I want Kathy to almost not recognize me when I go back for our wedding. It can happen.

-j

Man, I miss having a digital camera. I thought I’d be OK using a decent camera that Amy had that takes 35mm film, but I guess I had been taking for granted that what you see in a viewfinder in a digicam is generally what you will get in the photo. With this film one (apart from the lens cover not opening all the way) what you see in the viewfinder is slightly to the left of what you will get. So a perfectly centered truck becomes half a truck and the left side of a remote that was out of the frame I had established. Supposedly focused letters are not, and macro shots are terrible.

I liked being able to see the photo right after taking it. Then I would know if it was super fuzzy, washed out from the flash, or not where I wanted it in the frame. I can’t blame the camera - I realize that people have taken photos for a really long time without the ability to preview them. I just had not considered that I would need to compensate my frame. At least I have a roll and a half that i know I need to do this with.

Hopefully I will be acquiring one of these. A dear friend of mine is upgrading and I have requested the privilege of buying her old model. I’ve wanted a DSLR for a while, which is part of the reason I had left my camera in Paraguay. In doing some research, I was considering purchasing a Canon Rebel XS or Nikon D3000, but fortune smiled upon this lad. I like this idea better because I will spend less on a probably superior camera (thought it’s a bit older), and it’s a great entry into the DSLR world. Now my mediocre photography will become slightly less mediocre!

-j

I don’t have a camera anymore, but I plan on fixing that soonish. No, it didn’t get stolen again; I gave it to my friend Marcelo in Paraguay. For now I am borrowing a camera my sister has that she got from my grandfather. The only thing is it’s a film camera, and I haven’t used one of those in easily 7 or 8 years. But it’s a good camera, and I’m up to it. It’ll be weird not being able to see the image right away.

I wanted to get into a photo project. I’m no amazing photographer, but I like to pretend I am. I read about this thing called “Project 365“, which is - much as it may sound given the context - a 365 day project in taking shots. I might just start with a Project 31 to see if I can actually do it for a month. It’ll be kind of weird because I’ll be starting it out on film until I am able to get the camera I want (I want it to be good), so the photos might be a little post-dated.

If this gets anywhere, I will post some links here.

-j

I’m having a very Paraguay day today. I started by calling Mary’s sister who lives in DC to invite her to our choir program that we’re having in Maryland this weekend. Meanwhile, I was making sopa (trying to anyway). And while I cooked, I was listening to Obedira. I even saved enough cheese to make mbeju later.

I learned that our corn meal isn’t the same as their corn meal, so my sopa turned out more like a mix between the corn bread it should be and the corn souffle they also make. It’s tasty, it’s just not what I was looking for.

While the sopa was in the oven, I decided to put together a slideshow of various photos that span the year and some change I was there. If I ever get asked to do a photo presentation, I have one now. And when friends want to see *every* photo I have, I’m ready for that too.

Now all I need is a text from Kathy and I will be OK!

-j

What will we call this one? We can’t say “Oh ten” because that sounds stupid. We can’t just call it “ten”, like “ninety-nine”, because that also sounds moronic. TJ suggested “ten-spot”, which is catchy. I suppose it could just be “twenty-ten”, but that gets long winded after a while. At any rate, I welcome this new year and eagerly await all God has in store for me this year.

I’m thankful for a church family who receives me back home as if I had never left, with the exception of the questions. Matt said even though I hadn’t stepped through those doors since October 15, 2008 it was almost as if I had never left. I felt the same. Some of the faces are a bit older now, and there are a couple new ones. I’m now glad to be back participating in the Richmond crew here. And they’re excited for the new addition we’ll have, Lord willing, in a year or so.

I’m thankful for friends who can quickly come up with last-minute New Years Eve party plans and that we can enjoy the last few minutes of 2009 together and begin 2010 together. Friends that are interested in the lives of each other and really care for one another.

I’m thankful for a God who never fails me and never leaves me. To call Him faithful seems like a joke, for He is so much more. Calling Him faithful makes me feel like he owes it to me to be that way, when I know that He owes me nothing but chooses to be with me and be “faithful” as my finite mind can understand it. He is True, Sure, Everlasting, Love. He took me to Paraguay, blessed me there beyond my expectations and imagination, and brought me home. Hopefully a future post will detail some of the abundant life that God gave me during my several months. I’m thankful for every minute.

I’m thankful for a brand new year, completely unwritten, in which I can seek God’s direction for my life and pursue His path. He will remain by my side as long as I don’t stray from Him, and I am excited for the amazing life He will reveal to me this year.

Happy 2010. May it be the best yet, filled with blessings from above. If you aren’t experiencing any, give Him your life so He can begin to show you how awesome it is.

-j

I am going to bring you down a bit. Come with me into my wallowing. It’ll be over soon, but I’m going to be emo and post about my depression while I have it.

Songs like “Blue Christmas” and “Please Come Home For Christmas” have new meaning for me this year. These songs have become my anthem. Former favorites like “Sleigh Ride” are just empty words. There are parts of the world where Christmas is not white and parts where people are not thinking about raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

My Christmas is blue because I can’t spend it with the love of my life. I can’t enjoy with her the warmth of the house, the pretty lights outside, the truffles that TJ is making right now, and hot cups of Starbucks Egg Nog Latte. Half of my life is gone for now.

I’ve been driving around town today, but it feels totally empty. I know the roads, but it’s all foreign to me at the same time. I don’t feel like it’s home yet. And when people say “Welcome home” to me, I feel like saying “My home is 9,000 miles away…” I’m not happy to be home. I’m not mad about it, but happiness isn’t coursing through my veins.

I’m sure once I’m used to being tin the States I will feel like I’m back home. But I know I won’t be completely happy all year. Hopefully I won’t be a downer for all of it.

-j

It’s weird to think about this being over. I feel like I just got to Paraguay, and now I’m sitting in Peru waiting for a delayed flight (that might delay my arrival in the US), and it’s all behind me. Obviously I’m not done with Paraguay, but it’s crazy to think it’s been 14 months and some change since I got there. It’s as intertwined in my life as Richmond is now. And it’s probably going to stay that way.

I don’t like goodbyes. Partly because I don’t like saying the same thing over and over again, and partly because I don’t usually know what to say. I didn’t “officially” say goodbye to many people on Saturday night. A few key players (pastors, really close friends, my in-laws) and I was done. As I walked from church for the last time on my trip, I couldn’t help but imagine some of that sitcom music for tender moments.

It’s not really goodbye. It’s “see you later.” I will see them later, if the Lord tarries. My esposa is there. Leaving her yesterday was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. If I felt I could have managed it, I would have stayed with her until Gustavo came to take me to the airport. I hope this year flies by.

Well, I just say the pilots show up, so I’m gonna head out for now. See you later.

-j

Last night at Colegio Privado Adonai we had the first graduation from 12th grade. I have been excited for that moment since I realized it would be. Some of the kids even have been at CPA for as long as 7th grade, a year after the school opened. There are also 6th graders who have been there since the beginning of the school, so in 6 more years there will be another awesome graduation.

It was a really nice time. Nine kids finished their high school career, and the whole time they were reminding me of my graduation over 12 years ago (what?!). They started by passing the National and Collegial flags to the best students in 11th grade, and already people started crying. There were awards given to the best students in each grade of middle and high school, and then then night focused on the seniors.

The one thing I liked the most was that each one was given a Bible and presented with a “Gift Verse” to bless their future with. Later, each one took turns dedicating a white rose to the people who to them represented their achievement. The tassel turning was a bit different; they received their symbolic diploma, and the last person to congratulate them (Oscar, the General Director of the school) flipped it from one side to the other. The evening culminated with some surprise photo montages and video dedications by each of their parents. It was a long night, but it was a good night.

I was working sound, so I didn’t get any pictures. Vivi took one of me though, doing my job.

Let’s come back in 6 years when they celebrate their first students to go all the way through!

-j

It’s been around 3 months, and when I actually take a sec to think about it, I still can’t believe it’s real.

When I came to Paraguay, I had one goal: minister to kids through teaching them English. At the same time, God was busy setting me up. Just like he’d been setting me up since high school to get me here, once He got me here, He began setting me up for this next step in my life. I wasn’t in the country 10 minutes before conversation led to Oscar saying to me “it’s better to find your wife than to look for her.” Many, many, *many* people told me I would find my wife in Paraguay. I laughed it off and said “whatever, that’s not why I’m going.” It still isn’t why I came.

Sometimes crazy things happen. I’ve vaguely referenced this before, but God has been writing a beautiful story of love in my life that reached a new chapter this year. I had heard about this “really cute” girl named Kathy (KAHtee) since I got here, and finally in December I figured out who she was. By February I was quite interested in her, and by June I was ready to let her know. Behind the scenes of my own little musical, God had been working in her life to lead her towards me. We’ve been together for a while, and God has continued to answer prayers, both hers and mine. Some of them she tells me surprise and humble me, and I can sincerely say that God is *so* good.

What’s amazing about how He worked with us is that He told us the same thing using two different scriptures several months apart and without much interaction between Kathy and I. After she told me how the Lord answered her prayers for direction, I realized that I had mentioned to God that it would be really cool if He used the same story to answer her. He did me one better. In April he told me what was going to happen using scripture more from the male perspective, and in August He told Kathy what was going to happen using scripture from the female perspective. Both scriptures complementarily write the story of the beginning of our life together.

Please continue to pray for us as we have a LOT to figure out and not a whole lot of time in which to do the figuring. There are various documents, forms, and sets of paperwork that will need to get done by the time we get married, and I want to help her get as much done as possible while I’m still here. It’ll all turn out fine; God has been immensely faithful. Of course He has….I guess what I mean to say is that He has immensely surprised me with the goodness and abundance of His faithfulness.

Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good!

-j