It’s about that time again. The one day a year when people can dress like morons and not get in trouble or be made fun of. Last year I got some fang tips and latex ears and made a convincing werewolf, minus the bad facial hair. Some of the kids who came to my house asked me if the ears were real. 
I didn’t know whether I should be offended or feel complimented. As you can’t really tell from the picture, I was also wearing my high school jacket. Without the shaggy beard, it’s hard to tell that I was going for Teen Wolf, a la Michael J. Fox (one of the best bad movies ever). I can also tell you from that experience that denture cream tastes really, really gross.
I considered doing this again this year, but I was going to kick it up a notch. Last year I bought a bald cap and some fake hair that I was going to form into a hairy face that I could glue on. I also got better tips because they don’t need denture cream, and everything was half off after October 31. However, I don’t think I want to do the werewolf thing again. Even though if I had to be a monster, I would like to be a werewolf. I’ve never figured out why, but they’ve always been my favorite.
This year I had a different, possibly better idea. It could either be really great or really bad. While I have a think for werewolves, I have an even greater affinity for Superman. But they don’t really make Supes costumes for large men. So I thought it would be funny to get one anyway. I’d answer the door in a too-small-for-me Superman outfit, shaggy hair, unshaven face, with a cigarette in one hand and a cheap beer in the other. I would be washed up Superman. The image of this is hilarious to me. Obviously I would look like crap. I also realize that I probably won’t do this because it would border on embarassing. The kids would never come to my house again. But like I said before, that’s the one day people can (are almost expected to) dress like morons and get away with it.
-j
I'm Jason, and I like to write.
you are too crazy, jason! i’m going as superman the clown… rubber nose, rip away shirt, and super shirt underneath. i have to go somewhat low-key, because I will be in school all day, after all!
send me a pic when you do whatever it is you’re gonna do!
I don’t really know what I think of your costume. Honestly, I don’t really think that a beer and cigarette are appropriate, considering the fact that they are children (and you are a christian). Why not go for something a little more, I don’t know, happy?
I know…I am mostly being silly. I doubt I’ll be washed up Superman, and definitely not with the whole beer and smoke thing. The image did make me laugh though.
I probably won’t dress up, because the tasteful idea I have won’t look right on a fat guy (I thought about wearing a suit with a superman shirt underneath. Curl my bangs, and voila…mild-mannered Clark Kent).
-j