Horatio Cane
Anyone watch CSI Miami? For the uninitiated, it’s a cop drama, and it stars David Carusoe as Horatio. The reason why the show is watchable is because the writing is over the top, and David Carusoe absolutely knows how to deliver the most ridiculous lines. At the beginning of the show, before the opening credits, the kind of set up the plot for the show. The last line of the intro is ALWAYS Horatio saying something mundane, but he does it in such a dramatic way. For example, tonight his line was
“Yes, and soon….so will we.”
I guess without context it means nothing, but it’s hilarity to me. I’m going to do my best at keeping track of what he says for my own enjoyment. I may try to make a page here to get the job done.
And I will *looks over top of sunglasses*…get it done. HEY!
-j
I Want This Job
I was watching Ellen and saw a commercial for Kleenex and discovered I want to be that guy. If you haven’t seen it, let me explain it to you. So this random guy sets up a couch in the middle of a city and asks people if they have a minute to talk. They talk, and he listens. And that’s it. Happy stories, sad stories, funny stories, whatever. I want to be the guy who gets paid to let people “let it out”. I would get so much fulfillment doing that.
-j
Funniest Joke By A Nerd
Ever watch Beauty and the Geek? It’s a silly show that pairs a nerdy guy with a really pretty but also not-so-smart girl. The nerds try to make the girls smarter, and the girls try to make the guys cooler. And they compete against each other. I’ve never watched a whole show, but I caught a bit of it. In this one, the geeks had to do stand-up. This was the funniest joke, as far as I can remember.
“If I designed things, I would have designed allergies differently. Like, I wouldn’t have people be allergic to good things like strawberries and peanuts. I’d have them be allergic to scary, dangerous things like tigers and sharks. [Acts out walking] Uh oh, I have a rash. Where’s that tiger? [Acts out swimming] Oh no, my nose is running. There must be a shark nearby. Oh, there’s rash too. Must be a tiger shark.”
It was the tiger shark part that I thought was the best. Maybe you had to be there.
-j