This is the last of the “official” posts from my trip. I may post things here and there, but you all already have enough to read.
It’s safe to say that my perspective on life has changed. When I went to CLM, my perspective on some things changed – I think I became more compassionate, some material things didn’t mean anything to me, and I was able to see life outside of the US and be more thankful for what I have here. But coming back from Paraguay has thrown my perception of life in the States on its head.
I felt so alone and out of place as I stood in the Richmond airport waiting for my luggage to come around on the conveyor (it never did, but showed up at my door three days later). I became aware that I could now understand the people around me and really found that I detested what I heard. I specifically remember hearing teenage girls talking with more attitude than necessary about some other girl being annoying (if they only understood the irony), and the disrespect and self-elevation with which they spoke about adults made me sick to my stomach. Our kids are raised believing they’re at the center of the world and nothing else matters besides their comfort. That’s how life in North America is in general. I feel I can say that because that attitude in my own life wants to come back once in a while.
I read this in a devotional form Rick Warren as I filtered through my email upon my return to high speed internet. I really liked what it said, because it captures very well the way my mind is thinking right now.
So much of what we waste our energy on will not matter even a year from now, much less for eternity. Don’t trade your life for temporary things. Jesus taught, “Anyone who lets himself be distracted from the work I plan for him is not fit for the Kingdom of God.” (Luke 9:62, LB) And then Paul warned, “Deal as sparingly as possible with the things the world thrusts on you. This world as you see it is on its way out.” (1 Corinthians 7:31, Msg)
Whether it was Sarah claiming she was too old to be used by God or Jeremiah claiming he was too young, God rejected their excuses: “‘Don’t say that,’ the Lord replied, ‘for you must go wherever I send you and say whatever I tell you. And don’t be afraid of the people, for I will be with you and take care of you.’” (Jeremiah 1:7-8, NLT)
Being in Paraguay made me realize that I’m far too rooted in the States to be able to just go when God tells me to. My life here is very comfortable, and as a result I don’t think about God’s greater vision for my life enough. I’m not saying He has me pegged for Paraguay (I wouldn’t mind it though), but I have been too accustomed to being here, making my own plans even though I sought God’s heart in making them. Plans are necessary to make sure you’re actually doing something, but it would be impossible for me right now to pack up and leave without being chased by the Feds. I want to be able to go wherever I’m sent and say whatever I’m told to say. I want to be like Jesus’ disciples, who dropped everything – EVERYTHING – to go the second he said “Follow Me.” My family doesn’t like to hear stuff like that, especially if it means I may end up in some remote place, but this world is not my home, I’m just passing through, and I’ve never felt it like I do right now. I hope that feeling never dies. In the meantime, I want even more to be used where God has placed me, and right now that’s in Richmond, Virginia.
-j
I'm Jason, and I like to write.