We made it to the next round
Whichever “we” you think I’m talking about, that statement stands true. For now I’m talking about both the “wes” that should be important to me. The US won their game and their group in dramatic fashion yesterday to push on towards the Group of 16 in the World Cup. Today, Paraguay tied the most boring and possibly sloppiest game I’ve watched yet to also win the group and move forward to the Group of 16. Vamos Albirroja and Go USA!
Last night I prayed, “Lord, I should run tomorrow. Please wake me up and make me do it.” When my alarm went off at 6:30, I snoozed it once and then turned it off. Finally at 6:45 or so I got out of bed and continued farting around (not literally). But finally at 7 I was outside pounding the pavement. I began listening to a message by NT Wright on Wisdom, and I felt compelled to raise my hands to God and praise Him for the morning and the exercise and my life. It was nice. I did just over 2 miles today.
Finally, I was 301 this morning. No more fooling around! For a while anyway…
-j
It’s Thursday and I have to title.
I forgot to post yesterday. That’s not entirely true…I didn’t have time to post. Anyway, my weight in the morning was 301.8. I’m not sure how that happened, but I’ll take it without complaining.
Today Olivia West was born. I can’t remember what her middle name is, so I’m saying it’s Newton. Just under 7lbs. And now I need a nap!
-j
It’s Wednesday Again
Well, I was found out. The plan was foiled. Nothing left to do but come clean. I intentionally didn’t post last week.
I could spend some time making excuses for myself, but I’ve adopted the idea that excuses are dumb and don’t fix anything. When something’s important, you figure out how to get it done. You only make excuses for things that you know you should have done, could have done, but for whatever reason didn’t. I used to call them “reasons”, but even they functioned as excuses.
I didn’t post last week because I was irritated with my weight gain for the week. My excuse would be that I had been traveling a lot, but we all know that if I really wanted to do things right, traveling wouldn’t have stopped my good habits. Last Wednesday I was 309.
Now, that frustrated me because apart from the trip to Yankee Stadium (also known as “The Greatest Road Trip of My Life”) I thought I had been doing well. As far as I could recall, I had eaten normally and the only difference was the trip food, including Stadium food, and a lack of exercise. So I gain 5 pounds in a week? I didn’t get it. But that’s how my life usually goes. I guess the positive part about making this all public is at least you all get to see what kind of a struggle it is for some people to lose weight. My brothers-in-law could do exactly what I did and not see a change in their weight at all. But when you look at the difference between us, they’re both way more active on a daily basis than I am.
So in retrospect, a lack of exercise is probably more detrimental to me than I realize. But on top of that, I still have a too-strong connection to food. I decided to start following the plan of the Bible study I’ve been doing, and today’s half-portion day has been killing me. After lunch I actually felt angry because I couldn’t eat more. Withdrawal, you are a terrible beast.
This morning my weight was down to 307. So basically since the first time I posted my weight, maybe five weeks ago, I haven’t moved an inch. Oh, I’ve had a lot of movement, down and up and down, but I’m still where I started a month ago. Maybe one of these weeks I’ll figure out why I can’t stick to things for long enough to make a difference!
Welcome to my life.
-j
ps> I don’t want to sound like I’m whining. I’m really not. I don’t feel all emo about this situation, but I said I would be honest, and that’s what I’m trying to do. For whatever reason, this is the particular struggle that Satan is using to get me down right now. It’s been others before, and it’ll be others later.
I missed it yesterday
My bad y’all. I don’t have a photo today, but I weighed in and it was about what I expected. When you don’t exercise hardly at all in a week and don’t pay attention to what you eat, you shouldn’t expect a weight loss.
My weight this morning was 304.4. Next week it will be 302 something (I don’t think I can get lower than that in a week).
I’ve been really tired since my FL trip and haven’t found the drive I’d had before to get outside in the morning. I still wake up at 6:30, but I’m really groggy until after 7 and by then I have no time to go out. I probably just need to walk around outside while I’m groggy until I get the blood pumping (which might actually be why I’m groggy when I think about it…I need to break the cycle).
-j
Wednesday Progress Report
Not too much difference: 1.4 lbs. But it’s 1.4 less, so that’s what I like to see! Within a week or two I want to be under 300.
Glory to God.
-j
Half Marathon Update
I decided it would be fun to see the miles I run begin to tally somewhere, and I figured why not here. The newest feature of the site is my mileage tracker in the sidebar.
A friend told me he already signed up for the Suntrust Richmond Half Marathon in November and that entry fees were already increasing. I went to go see and sign up. The fee is now $65. There’s one thing that’s keeping me from signing up – there’s a time limit to the race. The training team isn’t even for you if you can’t *already* mostly run a 5K. Dang…
The price increase is June 30. I’ll give it until then. I think that’s enough time to get my run on enough to be used to mostly running a 5K. The training team starts in August, so if I’m almost there by late June, I’ll be even more almost there by August. The *other* only problem is the training team fee is about $135. Yeah, you get good instruction, motivation, and a “technical singlet”, but that’s hefty.
We shall see. I want to run it. It’s a worthy goal, and if I can actually complete 13.1 miles, maybe I could even one day do 26.2….
“You may say that I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one”.
-j
First Signs Of Progress
Time for today’s weigh-in. Drumroll, please….
From last week, that’s a weight loss of 2.6 lbs. The crazy part is that I was still at 307.4 on Sunday morning. In trying to figure out what made the difference, I can only place my finger on one thing: prayer.
Thankfully most of the people who read my blog are Christians and understand that. In the event that there is someone who doesn’t, maybe they’ll call this a “post-hoc fallacy“. Not to anger you, but that seems like a really nice way to explain away faith. The problem is for those of us that believe in the power of prayer, you can’t convince us that after trying everything else with no results that prayer did not cause the results. Could I have done it without prayer? Maybe. But I’ve tried before and failed every time.
I won’t rehash my last post, but you can consider this one an extension of it. Glory to God, all this week I’ve been able to:
- maintain a reverent prayer posture and attitude
- get up early and exercise (even if I complain about it at first)
- be unnaturally diligent in healthy, responsible eating habits
- continue doing a Bible study on disciplined eating (and actually benefiting from it) that I’d prefer stopping
Three days might not seem like much, but trust me it feels like a lot. Especially because I’m finally denying my habitual, emotional, “normal” cravings and replacing them with more healthy and even spiritual practices that will change my life. The only thing that causes me consternation is that my stomach feels empty almost all the time, and I don’t like how that feels, so if this is the lifestyle change I want, will I feel this all the time? My suspicion is that no, once my stomach shrinks to an appropriate size and my body gets used to only getting the food it needs and not everything it thinks it wants, it will slow its roll and be happy with what I give it.
Thanks for your prayers. Don’t stop now! Within two weeks I hope to be below 300 again.
-j
Battle One, Battle Won
victory
A new coworker started today, and as is our tradition we went out to lunch with her. I love going to Mexican places, but at the same time I dread it. I love it because, well, it’s delicious Mexican food. I dread it because it’s dripping with fat. From the moment those chips come out to the moment that last bit of cheese-covered, guacamole-sour cream-beefy burrito slides down. Not today, my friends. Not today.
I woke up this morning just after 6 without trying. I debated waiting until my alarm went off, but I figured it was pointless. I was going to use the time wisely. Today was day-in-a-row number two for the morning jog. Two miles and 30 minutes later, I was getting ready for work feeling mighty fine. I packed two apples, two oranges, and a package of snow peas for the day. One apple was ravaged on the way to work where I also ate a package of oatmeal for breakfast. At 11 I had a 4oz container of cottage cheese so that I wouldn’t be hungry at lunch. I was feeling abnormally well (see my tweet to the right). I determined that today’s lunch would be different. A taco salad without the shell (I debated getting a fajita and not eating the tortillas), cheese and sour cream on the side.
At lunch I portioned out what I think was pretty close to a serving of chips and knocked back a bit of salsa. As soon as my salad arrived (they had forgotten the cheese and sour cream, but I’m better for it), I dumped out the insides and discarded the shell. It was really hard not to eat it, as well as the amazing cheese dip they brought out for the group, but I didn’t. Here’s why:
You might have read about the Bible study I’m doing about overeating. Combined with the Bible class on Sunday, yesterday’s study gave me what I think is the key I’ve been looking for: keeping my eyes on Christ. When Peter walked on the water and took his eyes of Jesus, he started to drown. When the Israelites were being bitten by snakes, they had to look at the bronze one and they would be healed. Jesus has already paid for my sin of gluttony, and beyond that He offers me a way out of it. I just need to fix my eyes upon Him.
The Bible class reminded me how good intentions aren’t enough. Uzzah died because he was trying to save the Ark of the Covenant. What he failed to do was give God the reverence He demanded. My prayer life does not give God that reverence. I usually pray however I am, and while I’m certain God hears my prayers, I’m missing out on something because I’m not being as reverent as I should. Last night I got on my knees and prayed for today. I prayed for the desire to run when I got up, and I prayed that God would show me what to eat, when, and how much. I confessed that I absolutely can’t do this on my own – I’ve tried many times – and how I trust Him to show me the way.
When I woke up today, that’s exactly what He did. This uneaten shell, the first of its kind, is the proof. Selah.
-j
A Tip
It’s a good idea to measure out how much food you’re going to eat instead of eating straight from a container. Even with good intentions, impulses (or carelessness) can get the best of you and before you know it, that pint of ice cream is history. Then you look to see how many calories you just ate and you cry a single tear of shame.
This has been a public service announcement. I now return you to your regularly scheduled internet, already in progress.
-j
It’s difficult to post today’s scale, but out of full disclosure, I post it.
This past week I didn’t track my food or exercise. Usually I found excuses not to exercise. While it’s possible that I ate decently during the week, it’s also possible that I didn’t. I know for a fact that I ate more on the weekend than was necessary, but that usually happens when I go to Steven’s house. I did bike 10 miles on Saturday, but once a week isn’t going to cut the mustard.
This week I started a checklist. Seeing as how I don’t have any self-discipline, I need to get some. I hesitate to say it because it sounds blasphemous, but just prayer isn’t going to be enough. Not that God’s limited, but I can’t ask Him for something and then sit around. If I ask for the desire to get out and exercise but make little effort to do it, I shouldn’t be surprised when it doesn’t happen. To combat this, I’m not allowing myself to go to bed until I finish the things in my checklist each day. For the two days it’s been in practice, it’s served well. We’ll see if next week this number reflects the forced discipline.
-j